BLOG: Saying No To Work

'Never turn down work.' 'Never say no.' 'Always be available.'

If you work in any kind of freelance capacity, chances are you live by these three little phrases, or something of the sort. You will have been told them when breaking into your chosen profession, reminded of them as you moved up the ranks, passed them on to anyone asking for your advice, ever, and subsequently made them your way of life. I am one of those people, at least. 

I cancel on relationships, friends, family and, erm, myself, somehow, when work comes a'knocking. And I don't regret a thing. Aside, maybe, from that one interview that almost lost me my other job and ended up being a big pile of poo. Actually no, I don't regret that either. 

Some people occasionally tell me 'I work too much' and I'm naturally inclined to say they're not working hard enough. That's probably not the case but just the way I've conditioned my brain to think. Which, by the way, also has a way of making you feel like you're never good enough. So I'm by far a shining example here. 

Anyway.

Today I had to turn down work. I 'said no'.

Unfortunately accepting the brief sent my anxiety into overdrive - because deep down I knew even I, miss never say no, couldn't stretch that thin. But firing off the 'my bad, I actually can't help' email has bummed me out even more. No less because I absolutely love the brand. As fate would have it though, it's my work with this brand that helped me to score my most recent gig, and the lightening-speed progress there that means I'm swamped 24/7. To the point where I'm delegating work and even then, when people are helping, struggling to let go of the responsibility completely. If I want it done right, surely I just do it myself?

Money is obviously a deciding factor when approached with work and for me, the not-so-distant memory of never being able to get work in the first place is still there. Who am I to say no? Will they ever offer me work again? On this occasion though, it was actually my love of the brand and company that made me want to say yes. Which is probably why it feels a little shitty now.

If there's one thing I hate more than saying no, it's doing something half-assed. So when the balance between 'doing a great job' and 'doing as many jobs as you can' comes, I'm not sure there's ever a right answer. This time, it wasn't meant to be. 

I've no doubt that I'll continue to cancel on everything and everyone when the next opportunity comes along (sorry in advance). But I'm not sure saying no will ever get easier. It isn't in my nature, I'm coming to realise.

Apologies if you've read this far... looks like you couldn't say no either. Oops.